1.5.05

Quoth the Robyn:

Ah, yeah, when you extinguish the candle, then you have to pay the penalty, and the penalty is, that you're taken, you're transported from here by two minotaurs, which you know are human up to the neck and then they have bulls' heads. And they have real bulls' heads; they're not just wearing bull-head masks: they actually become bull from the neck up. And the minotaurs, they have a lot of duct tape and they swaddle you in it, or Gaffa tape if you're watching in England, and you're swaddled in duct tape and you're carried away by the two minotaurs down an endless series of ducts. And then, you're pinpointed just above, about two thousand seven hundred and twentythree feet above sea level. And you are fired out over central London and then you come down, and you- it's the reverse of normal gravity; it actually gets slower as you get nearer to the ground. So you run out of momentum about eight feet above Leicester Square. And everyone thinks you're a bomb, a thermonuclear device, because we've always been brought up in our folk stories in Britain that the bomb would detonate above ground to achieve maximum devastation. So as they see this thing, which is you, swaddled in duct tape, coming down over central London, people begin to flee, and there's enormous traffic congestion, especially on the A4 but also on some of the other main routes... And like the beginning of the A1 and whatever-it's-called Highbury Corner and all that stuff, it gets more and more cluttered and people are fleeing and they're starting to tread on each other in their panic and they're spilling cups of honey and knocking over theodolites and retort stands and trivits and all that sort of things: A lot of people are blundering through ancient chemical apparatus. And there's stuff- people have got hundreds of- People with slides, slides of tissue, things like corroded lungs and they're spilling that in their panic and they're saying Just one more cup of coffee, Miss Patterson and then it's getting spilt as well and they're getting more and more disturbed and rubber tyres which have never seen the outside of a wheel (they're just cosmetic) come smashing through the Venetian blinds and they knock over the paper cups, and they hit the files and the computers all go blank and the buildings begin to shake. And they realize there's something wrong underground so they have a strike underground and hundreds of passengers are trapped underground as you get closer and closer to the surface and then, just eight feet above Leicester Square you stop.
    So London's in a panic; they're just... I mean, you're not a bomb, you didn't need to explode; it doesn't matter: enough damage has been done without a shot being fired in anger and unnecessary bloodletting- Just the whole system is cracking up but you've got this problem, you can't reach the ground because there's a problem with physics so: what do you do?

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