An open letter to my roomate
You really are lucky, this time, that you are so full of it. If I was a fraction- an eigth? a twelfth?- as mean to you as you profess, then I would turn State's witness. Which is not a threat, it's a syllogism. Indulge me, if you would, in envisaging the following scenario:
D.A.: And did she ever treat you abusively?
Witness: Well, she did once tell me that I didn't deserve any friends, and further, that I didn't deserve to have anything.
DA: And did you provoke this?
W: Well, yes, if by provoke you mean be more interested in doing my homework than talking to her and being uninterested and annoyed.
DA: Is that all? I remind you that you are under oath.
W: Well, I didn't remember, at the time I was kinda distracted, something she'd said the previous night after she told me not to talk so she could watch her reality show and then talked over it herself.
DA: What right did you have- How could she have known that your attention was otherwise engaged and that she shouldn't bother you?
W: Well, there was the sprawl of papers and notes across the table, and the pencil and calculator in my hand, to start with, but she's not very visually oriented.
DA: Your Honor, I call your attention to Exhibit G, the photograph of the toothpaste and phlegm clots in the bathroom sink. [To witness:] And were there other such instances of irrational overreaction?
W: Yes.
DA: Your Honor, I refer you to State's Exhibits H through T57, the printouts of emails between the witness and the defendant, in which the former alternately is bewildered and systematically contradicts the latter, who appears consistently belligerent.
W: If I may, in her defense, the hippies upstairs were being pretty loud, which annoys both of us and she's not really good at differentiating the sources of her emotions, or recognizing the source of others'. She just kind of assumes that anything anyone says or does when she's in earshot is about her. She's kind of mental that way. Also in the way that when she yells at you she'll just talk over you and then walk away without hearing anything you tried to interject.
-and so on, but this is make-believe, because I am more interested in what is right than petty paybacks. Better you should hear this here than on the floor:
Nosun died and made you the center of the renamed Jennifar System. When you erupt out of your lair or into the house with need of a sounding board, sometimes your would-be echo chamber is otherwise engaged. It's a thing people do: other things than wait with bated breath for the next installment of your serial epic of persecution. Beowulf or Arjuna you're not; nastier than Grendl's mother and wordier than Krishna:
And scold him she did, she did rebuke him.
Harsh words flowed over the banks of the river,
her words overflowed and poisoned the land.
Bitter berries grew on the bushes, the poisoned bushes of the land,
the land poisoned by her scornful words,
words she spoke to he she rebuked.
Get a grip on what words mean. Mean is this, comparing you to Grendl's mother or telling someone he doesn't deserve any friends, etc. Uninterest, not mean, is when I'm VISIBLY ENGAGED IN (what happens to be very difficult) HOMEWORK, and it is not mean. Boys cry wolf; words lose meaning when they're bandied around carelessly. You may not fabricate lies, but you twist and warp the meaning of words enough that I can hardly believe you any more than Simon or Dolan. Their calling what you did a stabbing is no different from you calling me mean or talking about Simon beating you (back in the good old days) when "beating" means anything from an uppercut to a push.
So I guess what I'm saying is
1. Think about what other people are trying to do when you force your way into their attention and
2. Use words that, by their consensually accepted meanings, reflect reality better than a funhouse mirror.
Otherwise shut up and/or move out.
D.A.: And did she ever treat you abusively?
Witness: Well, she did once tell me that I didn't deserve any friends, and further, that I didn't deserve to have anything.
DA: And did you provoke this?
W: Well, yes, if by provoke you mean be more interested in doing my homework than talking to her and being uninterested and annoyed.
DA: Is that all? I remind you that you are under oath.
W: Well, I didn't remember, at the time I was kinda distracted, something she'd said the previous night after she told me not to talk so she could watch her reality show and then talked over it herself.
DA: What right did you have- How could she have known that your attention was otherwise engaged and that she shouldn't bother you?
W: Well, there was the sprawl of papers and notes across the table, and the pencil and calculator in my hand, to start with, but she's not very visually oriented.
DA: Your Honor, I call your attention to Exhibit G, the photograph of the toothpaste and phlegm clots in the bathroom sink. [To witness:] And were there other such instances of irrational overreaction?
W: Yes.
DA: Your Honor, I refer you to State's Exhibits H through T57, the printouts of emails between the witness and the defendant, in which the former alternately is bewildered and systematically contradicts the latter, who appears consistently belligerent.
W: If I may, in her defense, the hippies upstairs were being pretty loud, which annoys both of us and she's not really good at differentiating the sources of her emotions, or recognizing the source of others'. She just kind of assumes that anything anyone says or does when she's in earshot is about her. She's kind of mental that way. Also in the way that when she yells at you she'll just talk over you and then walk away without hearing anything you tried to interject.
-and so on, but this is make-believe, because I am more interested in what is right than petty paybacks. Better you should hear this here than on the floor:
Nosun died and made you the center of the renamed Jennifar System. When you erupt out of your lair or into the house with need of a sounding board, sometimes your would-be echo chamber is otherwise engaged. It's a thing people do: other things than wait with bated breath for the next installment of your serial epic of persecution. Beowulf or Arjuna you're not; nastier than Grendl's mother and wordier than Krishna:
And scold him she did, she did rebuke him.
Harsh words flowed over the banks of the river,
her words overflowed and poisoned the land.
Bitter berries grew on the bushes, the poisoned bushes of the land,
the land poisoned by her scornful words,
words she spoke to he she rebuked.
Get a grip on what words mean. Mean is this, comparing you to Grendl's mother or telling someone he doesn't deserve any friends, etc. Uninterest, not mean, is when I'm VISIBLY ENGAGED IN (what happens to be very difficult) HOMEWORK, and it is not mean. Boys cry wolf; words lose meaning when they're bandied around carelessly. You may not fabricate lies, but you twist and warp the meaning of words enough that I can hardly believe you any more than Simon or Dolan. Their calling what you did a stabbing is no different from you calling me mean or talking about Simon beating you (back in the good old days) when "beating" means anything from an uppercut to a push.
So I guess what I'm saying is
1. Think about what other people are trying to do when you force your way into their attention and
2. Use words that, by their consensually accepted meanings, reflect reality better than a funhouse mirror.
Otherwise shut up and/or move out.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home