I have founded a new type of drink.
THE TURBID DEATH:
Mix one part of Everclear with one part ReaLemonTM 100% Lemon Juice*. Dilute with five parts pre-refrigerated water in a martini glass- the violence of the water pour will mix the drink. DO NOT STIR. Sip apprehensively, and then more confidently as it works its way down.
*Two caveats are in order: Firstly, Everclear is the only acceptable azeotropic alcohol/water distillate. Neither denatured alcohol from the hardware store nor standard grade solvent nor even pharmaceutical grade ethanol, at the azeotropic limit or chemically dried to 200 proof, are acceptable. Everclear. Secondwise, the concoction has not been tested with other makes or models of 100% lemon juice. The author refuses any responsibility for the reader's bastardizations of this pendingly patentable Invention and any mishaps that may follow the use thereof- such deviations from the cited Process including, but not limied to, use of other brands of alcohol or lemon juice or manual stirring- while yet claiming intellectual, spiritual, and fiscal rights to any proceeds proceding from the use of these potential aberrant variations to the author's unique invention, viz. the Turbid Death, and variants thereof.
The careful reader will notice that I did not stipulate the age of the ReaLemon juice. In my case, it's monthsold. The label of the lemon-shaped bottle informed me that it "stored" best when refrigerated. It may thus be of some consequence that I bought it months ago in preparation for an ill-fated fish dinner that was never to make it out of the freezer to the cutting table. This may have contributed to the turbidity of the thing.
Mix one part of Everclear with one part ReaLemonTM 100% Lemon Juice*. Dilute with five parts pre-refrigerated water in a martini glass- the violence of the water pour will mix the drink. DO NOT STIR. Sip apprehensively, and then more confidently as it works its way down.
*Two caveats are in order: Firstly, Everclear is the only acceptable azeotropic alcohol/water distillate. Neither denatured alcohol from the hardware store nor standard grade solvent nor even pharmaceutical grade ethanol, at the azeotropic limit or chemically dried to 200 proof, are acceptable. Everclear. Secondwise, the concoction has not been tested with other makes or models of 100% lemon juice. The author refuses any responsibility for the reader's bastardizations of this pendingly patentable Invention and any mishaps that may follow the use thereof- such deviations from the cited Process including, but not limied to, use of other brands of alcohol or lemon juice or manual stirring- while yet claiming intellectual, spiritual, and fiscal rights to any proceeds proceding from the use of these potential aberrant variations to the author's unique invention, viz. the Turbid Death, and variants thereof.
The careful reader will notice that I did not stipulate the age of the ReaLemon juice. In my case, it's monthsold. The label of the lemon-shaped bottle informed me that it "stored" best when refrigerated. It may thus be of some consequence that I bought it months ago in preparation for an ill-fated fish dinner that was never to make it out of the freezer to the cutting table. This may have contributed to the turbidity of the thing.
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