Greasing up the hen

The Belgian scandal of dioxin
In June 1999 Europe was confronted by the news of the scandal of dioxin in Belgian animal feed. Eggs, meat of hen, pigs and beef were not safe. Belgian animal feed had been enriched with old used engine oil with high level of dioxin.

It's just not safe to feed chickens used motor oil any more. What's next, no antifreeze in their water? No single-use stick'em&leave'm rectal mercury thermometers? No more slow slaughter by arsenic feed enrichment?
   Stupid belgians. They should stick to waffles and leave livestock to the pros.
   TODAY'S YOUR MAN'S DAILY PRO LIVESTOCKERY PROFESSIONAL TIP O'THE DAY FROM SOMEONE WHO DOES IT FOR A LIVING:
For a cheap and convenient protein supplement for your livestock, try grinding your spent stock's remains into a super nutritious sludge. Remember, animals don't have souls, so cannibalism's not a sin for them. And don't worry about "mad cows"; BSE's also an acronym for Bad Spin (to the) Extreme. You wouldn't let a liberal into your house, so why would you let one into your post-processing plant? Am I right here, people, or am I right?

Mathemagical shenanicanery

    I met this grimacely cold morning a most remarkable man.
    He carried a blind man's bluffstick but was writing on a notesheet when I found him. He asked if I knew how was spelled Yea, the stern rebuff to the colt's puerile denial. He could remember Nay, he told me, and further that he worked with twenty languages but could not remember an english word. Something about a late night calculating. On his totesac, staves and notes caroused gaily around.
    He spoke with an accent I couldn't place however hard I dug, and remines me of Old Father William... old and grown most uncommonly fat, and yet insistently stands on his head; pray what is the meaning of that?
   In his youth, Father William replied to his son:
   He worked on the Manhattan project, and though he never met Oppenheimer, he determined the atomic masses of four uranium isotopes to an unprecedented six decimal places of accuracy. They needed such precision for success. Of course, he was seven or eight years old at the time. Best kept national secret, he assured. They were must to use fundamental vibrational frequencies of the atoms... which of course depend on the mass, the precise mass. The initiating blast had to be timed down to the cesium second... which was also unknown at the time (1955). Uranium second? One supposes his afterschool homework may be still classified.
    What on earth else. The greeks. 235, 237, 238, 239: the isotopic masses of uranium, or the ones of significant lifetime^*. Their sum is 949: a palindrome. He lilted some greek at me before I could ask about the six decimals. Well No, then you have to divide by 3. To keep palindromicity.
    He said that, be it old and thinworn hbarat now, in those days no one understood how like music- in fundamentals and overtones- the atom was, and how symmetric its wavefunctions, but he did.
   Google has been of no aid to me in pursuing this conspiracy of nature. The only clue I have is that he claimed, later, on the bus- where he still spoke too quietly^** to hear without a fight- that the greeks also knew the speed of light by the ratio of mercury's perihouhounon in days, squared giving 186000, within "a couple of football fields" of the speed of light. Presumably they reckoned it in temporal stadia, converted for convenience into c. If I can find this reference, I think I'll have found the raisin behind the old fruit's limes.
*237 & 239 are infact shortlived, while 234 & 236 are rather stable. Unless that's only what the Chemical Rubber Company wants one to think. In the event, the stabler isotopes sum to 943, hardly symmetrical.
**As no less an authority than Michael's Rules of Mental Propriety has it, proper lunatic etiquette is to speak loudly, clearly, and slowly enough that one's hypotheses may be rejected by the sane on their own merits, and not because every other word is missed by the earstraining listener.